Is it just me or does Gordon Brown look like a Thunderbirds puppet? And do we really want a Thunderbirds puppet as our next Prime Minister? Especially one who never washes his hair? And whilst standing puppet-like in the House of Commons exactly how productive would it be that every question put to him by the opposition is met with "F.A.B. Virgil"? I mean, what use is that? And is he aware that F.A.B. actually stands for Fuck All Blairites? Furthermore, what on earth was Thunderbirds creator Gerry Anderson thinking of in coming up with such a crude acronym for a kiddies' TV show? When he finally pops his clogs and retires to the great Thunderbird 5 in the sky will the epitaph on his gravestone read "Gerry Anderson: Puppeteer and Foul-Mouthed Lunatic"? Hey, Gordon and Gerry, come on guys, get your act together. All systems go.

Hoss.

p.s.-is World Trade Center the most vomit-inducing piece of shite ever to come out of Hollywood? And what compelled Oliver Stone to metamorphosise from independent liberal into neo-con rent boy? And how difficult is it to spell the word centre correctly rather than in the style of a four-year old delinquent? Still, at least the trailers give me the chance to see Barney donning that fantastic moustache. And as for that shiny yellow helmet.............hey Barn, this has given me an idea. Maybe you should form a Village People tribute band. You could call it In The Gravy.

Film critic Mark Kermode gave World Trade Center the Movie of the Week accolade on Radio 5 last Friday when just about every other reviewer identified it as the sychophantic jingoistic bilge that it really is. Then again, this is the same Mark Kermode who declares that the greatest film of all time is The Exorcist which is a bit like saying that Gonzo porn is sophisticated art. To the uninitiated, Gonzo porn is "porn without character development, creating a blemish on otherwise good wholesome quality porn". Now, I'm no sexpert as my one and only porn movie experience (during the period known as Pre-Gonzo) was as a naive sixteen-year old and I don't recall a vast amount of "character development" taking place. What I do remember is the opening scene in which a hairy-torsoed geezer gives this frustrated suburban housewife a good seeing to before driving his sports car off a cliff, culminating in the inevitable explosion. Shame that this slight snag stymied any opportunity to "develop his character". No doubt if the movie was re-released next week it would get the thumbs up from Kermode with the words "well, some critics have given this picture a right roasting but I think that's harsh. The 3rd rate jazz funk soundtrack is spot on and the felching scene quite magnificent. Beautifully shot too".

p.s.-my latest idea for an extra source of income is to publish a magazine which caters for people who are just crazy about horse chestnuts and call it "Conkers Bonkers". Hoss.