So, apparently Nazi wanker Herman Goerring breezed through the Nuremburg trials with a sense of humour. Presumably it went something like this.

Prosecutor: So, Herr Goerring, how do you react to the fact that you were personally responsible for authorising the genocide of six million Jews?

Goerring: Have you heard the one about the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman?

Prosecutor: Do you underestimate the gravity of the charges you face Herr Goerring?

Goerring: There's this bloke, see, and he walks into a bar...

Prosecutor: Herr Goerring. You are not taking this situation at all seriously. I reiterate that we would like to know the reasons for your regime's policy of torture and mass murder.

Goerring: What's green and smells of pork?

Prosecutor: Kermit's finger. It's an old one.

Goerring: Bollocks. I thought I was on to a winner there.

p.s.-hey Will, this has reminded me that I'm still shell-shocked over something you said the last time we met up for a beer. And I quote: "I really do believe that Gary Glitter's child abuse charges should be dealt with considerable leniency because his music was so good. Furthermore, he should be knighted". What? No doubt if Hitler had attended Nuremburg and you had been the prosecutor you would have said "Well Adolf, I know you've been one of the worst war criminals in history but due to the fact you're a vegetarian your punishment will be no more than two hours community service calling out the numbers at the local bingo hall".

Wanna be in your gang? No thanks! Put another dime in the juke box baby. Hoss.

Tip of the Week: DON'T STROG BEFORE YOU JOG

Suffered from severe indigestion this morning whilst ambling around the countryside. This was due to the fact that I polished off the previous night's Beef Stroganoff before embarking on my early morning canter. Still, you live and learn. Tomorrow I shall revert back to my usual banana.

Hoss.