Ever wondered where the name of your current wheels came from? Well, Hoss is at hand to enlighten you on various models. Here goes:

1. Citroen Berlingo.

The two designers of the Citroen utility vehicle were struggling to come up with a name and decided to go on a camping trip to Yellowstone Park in Wyoming to give themselves a bit of a breather. Whilst out trekking they encountered a pair of grizzly bears engaged in animated conversation and one of them remarked "What's that? Bear Lingo?" The penny dropped.

2. Bedford Rascal.

Adored by dodgy builders up and down the country in the early nineties this canny little van was part of the Bedford Bastard series. Top of the range was the almighty no-nonsense Bedford Cocksucking Motherfucker with beef injection.

3. Ferrari Testarossa.

Ferrari chief executives, paranoid that their cars really only appealed to thick-as-shit Premiership footballers with very small dicks aimed to introduce a car with a name that would put a bit of oomph back into their brand and hence the Testarossa was unveiled. "Testarossa" is, of course, Italian for testosterone.

4. Austin Healey Sprite.

Originally called the Austin Healey Gobshite after former England rugby union scrum half Austin Healey who single-handedly lost the British Lions' Oz tour decider in 2001 with his ill-judged assertions that Australian lock Justin Harrison was "a plank", thereby gifting the opposition with the easiest pre-match motivational team talk in sporting history. Harrison put in the performance of a lifetime to prevent the tourists from succeeding in a fantastic series win against the most arrogant sporting nation on the planet. With the exception of England of course.

5. Ford Ka.

"What is it?"

"It's a Ka"

"I can see that"

Doh.

Hoss.