You may have heard in the news recently that members of the public will be fined in the future for incorrectly categorising their waste products for recycling. Here is a breakdown of the penalty system.
Offence.
Fine
1.
Placing a green bottle in the "brown bottles only" bin.
£10
2.
Placing en empty six-pack into the "clear bottles only" bin.
£25
3.
Pouring cold spaghetti into the "cardboard only" slot.
£233
4.
Telling the Recycling Attendant to "Naff Off" whilst dumping into a milk carton and throwing it into the "tins only" bin.
£1000
5.
Impaling the Recycling Attendant with a harpoon and then placing the harpoon in the "newspapers and magazines" slot and the attendant into the "shoes and textiles" bin.
£5057
I hope this clears things up.
Hoss.
p.s.-Hey Barn, have I got you sacked yet? I think not.
p.p.s.-Hey Clint, was that you I saw on BBC News 24 the other day, pirouetting wildly amongst the Gay Pride marchers in London? Or was it someone who looked remarkably like you, donning a pair of tight black leather shorts, miming along to "West End Girls", and violently waving a courgette above their head with a menacing grimace? Maybe not. Hoss.
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