On 26th April 2005 Hoss received this e-mail:

I am plan to be in London on Friday 29th April and to celebrate such a monumental occasion I thought you might like to put this in the diary for a meeting at our London Club (Ye Grapes, Shepherds Market) for a few halves of a lager followed by the customary fisticuffs in that charming little French bistro. After dinner fireworks (Olly setting light to his hair) will also be provided for your enjoyment. Any takers? Droops.

Hoss replied:

I am plan? What sort of language is that? Furthermore, why does it have to be bloody Shepherd Kermit with its overflow of the kind of white collar trash who should have been flushed down the toilet at birth? Rubbing shoulders with the sort of filth who believe that all immigrants except prostitutes should be electrocuted is as nauseating as your refusal to travel any further east than this Xanadu of Thatcherite garbage. Droopsie, you seem to forget that spending several hours in a car/tube for a mere beer is something I've been doing for twenny years. You've lived in the sticks for all of five minutes yet seem to permit yourself to draw up the "effort" parameters. In all seriousness though, if it's Kermit, it's Kermit, I'm really not bothered about travelling that far and it'd be good to see you, assuming I'm not working or gigging, which at the moment I'm not. However, I'll probably give the bistro a miss as for one tenth of the price I can make myself something far tastier and healthier back at Annette's (that's a little place I know in East London. You know, the part of town where nobody earns more than the minimum wage and you're likely to get stabbed or mugged even on a sunny Sunday afternoon).

p.s.-can't you make it a week earlier? I'm meeting up with Mary, Dumbo and Midge the Friday before which suits me much better. Don't worry, I know you can't, so I'll try to be there. Incidentally, has anyone heard from Chiswick Massive recently? He's gone AWOL.

p.p.s.-Hope's see soon you. This is gibberish to normal people but no doubt makes perfect sense to giraffes from Henley. Hoss. Rave on. Pffrrrr.