So, the man with the big nose and yellow kagoule managed to have the last laugh after all. Okay, so I may have looked like a Norwich City steward with very fishy fingers (juicy cod on the inside, crispy batter on the outside) but whereas one or two of you will have gotten a bit moist on the journey home I was able to skip merrily through the rain and remain as dry as a nun's vadge.

p.s.-Hey Barn, I couldn't help noticing in the curry house that Eleanor was violently flashing her eyelashes at you whilst you toyed with your onion bhaji. Did she mosey on back to yours for a "coffee" as it were, or did you waste no time in wooing her with a Delia-esque "Let's be avvin' yer" before coaxing the ol' brown bear back into its cave with y'magic wand? Logtastic. Hoss.

p.p.s.-Hey Phil, can we assume with those sideburns of yours that you've currently got a shedload of candyfloss, bootleg Presley and stolen hi-fi systems knocking about? If so, can you mark me down for a big pink one, "Hound Dog" live at Caesar's Palace, and a pair of NADS?

Cheers. Hoss.