Yo randomly-selected fellow beerfest chiropodists,

I'm gnu be up in town next Friday on "business", as it were, and was wondering if any of you porn stars would be up for a beer (or a spritzer in my case) in the evening somewhere in central London. Apologies if anyone interested did not initially find themselves amongst the list of recipients but the names were pretty much chosen at random from my address book, a sort of "pin the tail on the donkey with a bag on one's head" for the 21st century. Any ideas?

p.s.-whilst the jury is still out as to whether Chas'n'Dave ("rabbit") or The Wurzels ("I drove my tractor through your haystack last night") are responsible for the greatest song lyric of all time may I be permitted to complicate the judge's final decision by throwing in a last-gasp contender in the shape of a neo-Nazi band I recorded about fifteen years ago? In a refreshing change to the customary homophobic anti-semitic racialist shite they usually conjured up this is an excerpt from a song about the Falklands War (which is odd because you would have thought they'd have been wanking themselves stupid in honour of a right wing military junta invasion force). Here goes:

Galtieri.

He's a fairy.

Sittin' on his arse in Buenos Aires.

Bob Dylan, eat your heart out. The rhymes they are a-changin'.

Hoss. Pffrrrr.