It would be great to see you in June when you pop over. Unfortunately, the studio flat has recently been taken on a long term basis by a Slovakian girl called Boba who's really sweet, about five foot six with blond hair and flat feet. You'll just have to sleep it rough outside the Bingo hall in Tunbridge Wells. Alternatively, you could answer one of those "personal ads" which start "couple required for..." and just wing it for a few days. You never know. Life's too short. Give it a go...
Poor old Clint. As if life wasn't grim enough he's now losing his Barnet. Still, you know what they say: "When you lose your hair you gain it elsewhere". His sphincter now probably boasts more fur than a woolly mammoth. He should look on the bright side. There's plenty of gay blokes who really fancy getting their tongues caught up in a hairy ringpiece. He should visit one of those phone boxes in the West End and jot down a few numbers. Life's too short. He should give it a go...
Yes, you can check out m'schnozz when I see you. Its still enormous. So is my knob. For a reasonable price you can check that out too. No haggling though. It wastes time.